So here I am, thinking about how close I am to the Big Three-Oh, and wondering if my life looks like I expected it to look at 30. It got me wondering what my parents' lives were like when THEY were 30, so I sent them each a Facebook message (yeppers, my dad just joined the big FB, so now you KNOW it's no longer cool. I'm joking, Dad). They were both kind enough to give me a bit of reflection on their lives at 30, and told me I could share it with you.
When my Dad turned 30, he had a daughter who had just turned 5 (that would be me), and a 2 1/2 year old son. We lived in Richmond, IN, just 30 minutes from my mom's family and about 4 hours from his family in Louisville, KY. He was working his second job since graduating college with an accounting degree. He owned his first house, and he had been married for 7 years. I think it's 7, anyways. He told me,
I really wasn't sure what I would be doing at 30. We lived in Richmond and were ready to try something new. Florida was a growing state (plus warm), while Richmond was struggling, so we thought we would give Florida a try.
We could always move back if Fl didn't work out.
I was 31 when we moved. I obviously wanted a better life for our family so we went where there were more opportunities. Similar to you guys going to Atlanta.
My mom is a couple years younger than my dad, so when she turned 30 we had moved to Florida, but we were still renting the condo we lived in the first year we were down in the Fort Myers area. (They bought a house in Cape Coral and moved us there just 5 months later). She had a daughter who had just turned 7 and was in the 1st grade, and a son who was 4 and in preschool. She had started her own business selling and delivering copier paper to local businesses - a job that she could work from home most of the time, and where she could make deliveries during the day while we were at school to make sure she was home for us when we got out of school. She said,
I had just started my business in August, and we bought my first business car on my birthday, so I joked that it was my birthday present, a used celebrity wagon, stick shift.
When I asked her if her life was what she thought it would be at 30, she told me,
My life was so much more than I had anticipated it to be at 30. For one, I had never anticipated we would live in Florida. I thought we would live in Indiana, Kentucky, or Ohio. I thought I would be working in interior design. So when we moved to Florida, and I started my own business, that was so far from my anticipations.
Was it what I wanted it to be, I guess I didn't have big expectations. I think I always wanted a bigger house, and I always wished I had the money to have the furniture of my dreams, and build the house of my dreams. But that is all material, and I'm not really disappointed that I didn't. What I did have of my dreams was, and is, a wonderful, kind, considerate, loving husband, who has provided well for his family. And two healthy children, a girl and boy, what more could I really want. Because from the time I was a little girl I think all I really wanted was just that, the husband of my dreams, and children. All the rest is just icing on the cake.
By the time my parents each turned 30, they were on their way down the path of what I would consider their "lives" once the dust settled, but even at 30 they still hadn't met the people who have made up their tight circle of friends for over 20 years. I don't know why, but for some reason that blows my mind. Sure, I know that within a couple years of that milestone age, they would be settling into a home in Cape Coral they would live in for 10 years. My dad would get a job in Fort Myers that he would stay in for even longer. My mom would use her paper business to buy groceries and save up for her kids' college educations, and wouldn't retire it until her kids went off to college. All of that, the career stuff, the house stuff, it's important stuff but even as all of that changes, your core friends are the people who walk through it all with you, so it's just crazy to me to think that at 30, the people they still hang out with on a weekly (and often more-than-weekly) basis, and have been for as long as I can remember, were still a couple of years away.
It's interesting to me... I always had in my mind that by 30 I should "be" where I'm going to be in my life, so it's kind of comforting, in a way, to realize that my parents, who I think have done very well for themselves, weren't quite to that stage yet at 30. It makes me wonder what the next 2 to 5 years have in store for us. If it will be a journey into "the next 20 years of our lives" in a way. What jobs, homes, children, and friends will come our way. If there are friends I haven't met yet (or am just beginning to get to know) that will walk with us through the next 20 or 30 years of our lives. I wonder if you will be celebrating Zeke's 30th birthday with me?
Now that I have pondered where my parents were at 30, tomorrow I will reflect on where I thought I would be vs. where I am at 30.
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