Happy 30th Birthday to Me!

Birthdays of old... oh, how the times fly.


1st birthday


The year I got a dirt cake (hooray!) ... I can't find a photo of the barbie cake.


16th...


21st.


28th.


30th!! (That's me with my 7 month old, Zeke)

Approaching 30 (Part 7)... Birthday Freebies

Less than a week left of being in my 20s! And this week is going to FLY BY, let me tell you. December is always crazy. Good, but crazy. And at this point I think I'm all tapped out on reflection, so now I'm just going to glide on into my 30s.

Celebrations... my parents took me out to sushi when they were in town on their way back home, so I have continued my tradition of birthday sushi. Chris is gonna take me out sometime this weekend if he can find someone to watch Zeke. So not sure if that will happen or not.

Oh yeah, and I'm keeping track of what kinds of freebies I can get on or around my birthday from stores. So far the only good ones I've found are a free drink at Caribou Coffee on my actual birthday, and a free entree at Doc Chey's on the day. A lot of places only give away a free dessert with purchase, which I think is lame. The Gap gave me a 25% off coupon, which is the same as the rest of their promos for the month so that isn't special. I THINK Moe's usually emails a coupon for a free burrito but I haven't gotten it yet, and at any rate I'm allergic so that will go to Chris. So it looks like on Sunday after church we'll be doing Doc Chey's and picking up my coffee.

If you want to plan for your own birthday, here's a national list of places that offer birthday promos.

Approaching 30 (Part 6)... Birthdays of Old

To commemorate the passing of my 20s and my 30-year milestone, I'm reflecting on memorable birthdays of my "youth." Let the nostalgia begin!

One year... maybe around my 11th or 12th birthday, my mom asked me if I wanted a "barbie cake." You know, where you stick a barbie in the middle of the cake and decorate it like a dress. My mom always wanted one but never got one, I guess. I told her no, I didn't want a barbie cake, I wanted a dirt cake. That's where you crush up oreos in some ice cream and hide gummy worms in it and put it in a flower pot and stick fake flowers in it. For my birthday I got a barbie cake. Then I had to pretend to like it. I was sorely disappointed.

For my 16th birthday I was planning a big bash for the Friday after my birthday. So the Saturday before my birthday, my dad took me out to a movie. But there wasn't anything good showing at the time we wanted to see something, so we wound up going to an awful movie with the Olsen Twins and a treasure hunt? Awful. Then we came home, I opened the door to walk inside and all my friends yelled SURPRISE! I just closed the door again. It took me a couple minutes to get over the shock and go into my surprise (a week early!) party. Turns out my mom and my two best friends had been secretly planning for a while, and my parakeet kept almost ruining the surprise. For a week whenever I wasn't in the room he would yell "Surprise!" and my mom couldn't figure out WHY, but was worried he would say it when I was in the room and I would start to suspect what they were up to.

For my 18th birthday some friends "kidnapped" me and took me out to dinner and bowling.

Most of my birthdays since college have been really quiet, because even when I wasn't a college student, all my friends were so they were either studying for finals or had already gone home for Christmas break by the time my birthday comes around. But sometimes I've been lucky and people were still in town.

For my 21st birthday, my roommate threw a surprise party for me and my friend Mandy, whose birthday is one day before mine. This should have been awesome, except I had just become a Christian and had a lot of drama going on (losing friends, gaining friends), so one friend who hadn't been talking to me showed up to tell me that he thought I was doing the God thing all for show and I wound up crying for half the party.

For my 25th birthday we wanted to do a Lord of the Rings marathon. People kept saying they would still be in town when my birthday came along and would come over. But instead everyone had left Savannah for the holidays by then, so only one person came over. We didn't make it through all the movies.

Starting with my 26th birthday (I think), I always go out for sushi on my birthday. In Savannah that meant going to Sakura on Broughton Street. Then the last year we were in Savannah, Chris and I went to visit Atlanta for my birthday weekend and my friend Beth took us to Ru Sans, where they sing to you and give you a $20 gift certificate to eat there later when it's your birthday. So every year since, we've gone to Ru Sans on my birthday.

Last year, 29th, I was pregnant so I could only eat cooked and veggie sushi, and Chris and I spent a quiet date night out. And over my birthday weekend my mom came into town and we went shopping for maternity clothes all weekend. It was great to have quiet girl time to celebrate.

So what does this year hold? Probably time spent with my hubby and my best little man. I haven't thought much about it, though I'm counting on some sushi! Probably a rainbow roll. Hmmm, baby snuggles and a rainbow roll. That sounds about right.

Approaching 30 (Part 5)... Places I've been - Places to go...

Welcome to the next installment of my countdown to the end of my 20s.

Places I visited for the first time in my 20s:

• San Francisco, CA
  
• Washington D.C.
• New York City, NY
• Philadelphia, PA
  
• Cleveland, OH (well, sort of. I was there but didn't get to do much visiting)
  
• Portland, OR
• Oxford, MS
• Dallas, TX
• Myrtle Beach, SC
  

Places I hope to visit before I'm 40:

• Seattle, WA
• Vancouver, CA
• Boston, MA
• Luang Prabang, Laos
• Bangkok, Thailand
• Rome, Italy
• Yellowstone
• Chicago, IL
• Austin, TX

Approaching 30 (Part 4)... Goals for my 30s

Yesterday's list was my 20 Milestones of my 20s, now for the Goals for my 30s. Things I hope to list in my Milestones in another 10 years.

1. Become a Stay-At-Home Mom. This part isn't up to me at all. It's completely out of my control. But it's something I hope to achieve before I'm 40. Not to say I wouldn't work at all, I'm sure I would work from home some. But I would like to devote the bulk of my time to my children and my home, instead of those being secondary to the day job.
2. Have baby #2. I'm not committing to any more than two kids. Any more than that will have to be the Lord changing my heart again, but I at least want to have a second child. Preferably 2 years from now, when Zeke is 2 1/2 and about out of diapers.
   
3. Figure out if I want to go to grad school, and if I do, get started with it. I talked about this in a post a few days ago. I honestly thought I would have at least gotten a start on grad school before I was 30, if not finished with it. This is not to say that I regret where I am. It was clearly not what the Lord had planned for us - He had Atlanta, learning about food allergies, and a gorgeous baby boy in our future. Grad school would have meant 3 years of sleep deprivation, stress, and sickness (I am pretty positive I would not have figured out my food allergies causing me to feel exhausted and sick all the time on a college health plan). So in the next 10 years I hope to figure out, once and for all, if I even NEED and WANT to get a graduate degree, if so, what kind, then when to do it.
4. Learn to do wet felting.
5. Learn to knit. Yes, I've knitted a couple of scarfs in the past, but I don't remember how to do it and I wasn't very good at it so it doesn't count anymore.
   
6. Learn to sew. I have the sewing machine, and even a friend who is willing to teach me. But I expect a few years to pass before I actually have the time to put into it.
7. Complete a fine art project. I have an idea in mind, I just need to execute it.
   
8. Find a place where I can get into wheel-throwing pottery again. I miss it. It feeds my soul. Then I want to get good enough to make a teapot. A good one. I tried last time around, when I first got into pottery after I graduated from undergrad, but my teapot was a bust and I never even took it home.
9. Produce another film.
10. Buy a house. I was debating whether or not to put this as a goal. Chris asked and I even said I didn't want it to be a goal, because if we don't do it then I'll feel like a failure. But I'm not afraid to list my other goals, so... yeah, to be perfectly honest I DO hope that we'll be able to buy a house in the next 10 years. It's impossible with our current financial situation and with what we want out of a house (size, location, etc). But I DO want a yard and a place to call our own with kids... we don't want to be moving from apartment to apartment forever. So there you have it. It's a goal, and we're slowly trying to put money away for a down payment, and while it's not on our 5 year plan, I do hope to have it on our 10 year plan.

So there you have it. 10 goals for the next 10 years seems adequately ambitious to me... it's like 1 a year. I wonder if this blog will still be around in some incarnation in 10 years so I can look back at my list and see what I've accomplished.

Approaching 30 (Part 3) ... 20 Greatest Milestones of my 20s

Here we are, 20 days before I turn 30. So I bring to you a recap of the 20 Milestones / Accompishments of my 20s.

1. Giving my life to Christ (just days before I turned 21)
2. Marrying Chris (age 23)
3. Giving birth to my first child (age 29)
4. Graduating college with high honors (age 22)
5. Finding out I was pregnant (age 28)
6. Realizing I was in love with Chris (age 22)
   
7. Producing a feature-length independent documentary (age 26-27)
   
8. Showing our first feature documentary in film festivals (age 27)
9. Showing my art in a two-woman show at the Reitz Union with .tif (age 21)
   
10. Learning to crochet, and writing my own patterns (age 27, 28)
11. Becoming friends with my mother (early 20s)
12. Discovering how to eat to feel healthy (age 28)
13. Letting go of "my plans" to move to Portland, and following the Lord's lead in moving to Atlanta instead, without a plan, and watching as God put the pieces into place (age 27)
    
14. Learning to teach (age 22)
15. Designing our own PEZ dispenser that PEZ made for us.
    
16. Learning how to throw pottery on a wheel (age 22)
    
17. Learning how to solder silver to make jewelry (age 22)
    
18. Learning to do stained glass (age 24)
    
19. Having the guts to dye my hair blue for a few months (age 21-22)
20. Learning needle felting (age 28)

Approaching 30 (Part 2)... Well, what did you expect?

To me the most natural thing about hitting a "milestone" birthday is to ask yourself whether or not you are doing what you hoped to be doing at that certain milestone. Yesterday I talked about where my parents were at 30, and what expectations they may have had. So now to think about where I am, and where I thought I'd be.

When I was around 20 years old, in college for computer graphics, I had some definite expectations of where I would be 10 years later. I always believed that if I worked hard I would be able to do whatever I wanted, doors would open, jobs would appear, and I would be successful. I was always a really hard worker, so I figured I would graduate with honors, get a great job in a big city as a web designer, and move my way up the ladder. A couple years after that I would get a graduate degree, then get a job as a web design professor at a college somewhere. I saw myself happily married and owning a fancy loft somewhere. No kids. I'd have plenty of money, not rich but living comfortably with a good savings. I didn't know who I'd be married to or where I'd live, but I figured I'd make my way out to California, maybe the San Francisco bay area. I always had a very romanticized idea about California. Good weather and fun stuff to do and artsy people I could related to.

Cut to real life at 30. I am happily married, I'm a web designer, and I live in a big city. I did graduate undergrad with honors, but I guess I didn't work hard enough of something, because I never have found a job that pays what the career sites say someone with my skill set should be paid. And there is no ladder to climb where I work. We just barely pay the bills, and we live in an apartment, nothing fancy. We're in Atlanta, not California, and plan to be here for a long time. Even still, we don't have any plan to buy our own place soon because the money just isn't there. I haven't gone to grad school, so although I've taught at a tech college, I'm not on my way to being a professor. Perhaps the biggest difference from what I envisioned is the little man who has become the center of my world as of late. I honestly never saw myself as a mom.

So this begs the question - do I regret where I am? I think that's a tough question. There are things that I WISH were different, but nothing that I wish I had done differently... does that make sense? I believe I am where the Lord would have me right now. I am glad that I married Chris. Glad that I followed him to Savannah. Glad that we followed the Lord's leading to Atlanta. Ecstatic that we followed the Lord's prompting that led to the birth of our amazing son, Zeke.

I tried a couple of times in the past 6 years to do the grad school thing. I was accepted into graduate school at SCAD in Savannah, but after one quarter and speaking with a dean, I realized that the programs SCAD could offer me would not give me the education I wanted, and so I dropped out. I didn't want to go into debt for a degree that I wouldn't use. I am VERY happy that I decided not to complete my degree at SCAD. Then I applied to some fine art graduate schools after Chris graduated... I really worked at it this time and thought I knew what I wanted, but I wasn't accepted to any of the programs. That was really hard on me. Really hard.

But looking back 3 years later, I know that those programs wouldn't have been quite right, either. And if we HAD gone someplace for me to go to grad school, well... life would be very different. And while I can't reasonably speculate on what would have been different in an alternate reality, I will say that I doubt I would have discovered my food allergies (the secret to how I am able to function for a full day now instead of crashing horribly after just a few hours), and I highly doubt that I would be a mother now. The Lord's plan was different from my plan... and I have to say that the Lord's plan looks a lot better than my own. At this point I honestly don't know if I wanted graduate school for the right reasons anyways. I may have wanted it because it's what I was "supposed to do" to "live up to my potential." And that might be a really bad reason to do something, if it's not truly where the Lord is leading me in my life. I am hoping that I will gain more insight in the next 10 years about whether or not I need to pursue a graduate degree in anything.

So, sure. It would be awesome to have more money, a nice house, a fancier job. Or Chris with a fancy job so I could be a stay-at-home momma. And to be honest, I still hope to have those things when I hit my 40-year milestone. But these are the areas of my life where I am learning to be content with what we have, while I am joyful over the things I never even hoped for... trust in the Lord and an amazing baby boy. And I know that so far, the Lord's plan is better than my own.

Approaching 30 (Part 1)... Where were you?

So here I am, thinking about how close I am to the Big Three-Oh, and wondering if my life looks like I expected it to look at 30. It got me wondering what my parents' lives were like when THEY were 30, so I sent them each a Facebook message (yeppers, my dad just joined the big FB, so now you KNOW it's no longer cool. I'm joking, Dad). They were both kind enough to give me a bit of reflection on their lives at 30, and told me I could share it with you.

When my Dad turned 30, he had a daughter who had just turned 5 (that would be me), and a 2 1/2 year old son. We lived in Richmond, IN, just 30 minutes from my mom's family and about 4 hours from his family in Louisville, KY. He was working his second job since graduating college with an accounting degree. He owned his first house, and he had been married for 7 years. I think it's 7, anyways. He told me,

I really wasn't sure what I would be doing at 30. We lived in Richmond and were ready to try something new. Florida was a growing state (plus warm), while Richmond was struggling, so we thought we would give Florida a try.

We could always move back if Fl didn't work out.

I was 31 when we moved. I obviously wanted a better life for our family so we went where there were more opportunities. Similar to you guys going to Atlanta.

My mom is a couple years younger than my dad, so when she turned 30 we had moved to Florida, but we were still renting the condo we lived in the first year we were down in the Fort Myers area. (They bought a house in Cape Coral and moved us there just 5 months later). She had a daughter who had just turned 7 and was in the 1st grade, and a son who was 4 and in preschool. She had started her own business selling and delivering copier paper to local businesses - a job that she could work from home most of the time, and where she could make deliveries during the day while we were at school to make sure she was home for us when we got out of school. She said,

I had just started my business in August, and we bought my first business car on my birthday, so I joked that it was my birthday present, a used celebrity wagon, stick shift.

When I asked her if her life was what she thought it would be at 30, she told me,

My life was so much more than I had anticipated it to be at 30. For one, I had never anticipated we would live in Florida. I thought we would live in Indiana, Kentucky, or Ohio. I thought I would be working in interior design. So when we moved to Florida, and I started my own business, that was so far from my anticipations.

Was it what I wanted it to be, I guess I didn't have big expectations. I think I always wanted a bigger house, and I always wished I had the money to have the furniture of my dreams, and build the house of my dreams. But that is all material, and I'm not really disappointed that I didn't. What I did have of my dreams was, and is, a wonderful, kind, considerate, loving husband, who has provided well for his family. And two healthy children, a girl and boy, what more could I really want. Because from the time I was a little girl I think all I really wanted was just that, the husband of my dreams, and children. All the rest is just icing on the cake.

By the time my parents each turned 30, they were on their way down the path of what I would consider their "lives" once the dust settled, but even at 30 they still hadn't met the people who have made up their tight circle of friends for over 20 years. I don't know why, but for some reason that blows my mind. Sure, I know that within a couple years of that milestone age, they would be settling into a home in Cape Coral they would live in for 10 years. My dad would get a job in Fort Myers that he would stay in for even longer. My mom would use her paper business to buy groceries and save up for her kids' college educations, and wouldn't retire it until her kids went off to college. All of that, the career stuff, the house stuff, it's important stuff but even as all of that changes, your core friends are the people who walk through it all with you, so it's just crazy to me to think that at 30, the people they still hang out with on a weekly (and often more-than-weekly) basis, and have been for as long as I can remember, were still a couple of years away.

It's interesting to me... I always had in my mind that by 30 I should "be" where I'm going to be in my life, so it's kind of comforting, in a way, to realize that my parents, who I think have done very well for themselves, weren't quite to that stage yet at 30. It makes me wonder what the next 2 to 5 years have in store for us. If it will be a journey into "the next 20 years of our lives" in a way. What jobs, homes, children, and friends will come our way. If there are friends I haven't met yet (or am just beginning to get to know) that will walk with us through the next 20 or 30 years of our lives. I wonder if you will be celebrating Zeke's 30th birthday with me?

Now that I have pondered where my parents were at 30, tomorrow I will reflect on where I thought I would be vs. where I am at 30.

30 days 'til I turn 30

In one month I'll be thirty. Wow... 30. Thir-ty. Chris turned the big Three-Oh just two weeks after Zeke was born, so he didn't get much fanfare. (Though my dad took him out to two movies that weekend and to Ted's Montana Grill - leave it to my daddoo to make up for me being too tired and distracted to be good at celebrating). Ever since then I've caught myself referring to myself as thirty, too... I guess I figured I was close enough and just started rounding up. Which is pretty ridiculous - I should be holding on to every last vestige of my 20s. I guess being a mother makes me feel older or something.

At any rate, as time passes I'm becoming more and more aware that I will soon be out of my 20s forever, and it's a little odd. I never thought of 30 as old; I have plenty of friends in their 30s and they don't seem old. I even had a few friends turn the big Four-Oh this past year. That doesn't seem old either ... for them. But for ME to be turning thirty, suddenly it seems much older than I expected it to.

So to commemorate, I plan to write a handful of navel-gazing, completely self-centered posts. Lucky you. (Hey, no one's forcing you to read them!) I only turn 30 once so I plan to enjoy it a little. I remember when I turned 26, it wasn't until I was turning 26 that I realized I had completely blown an entire year of pointing out that my dad was "twice my age," and that he would never again be twice my age... from now on I was gaining on him. He will still be 25 years older than me, but never again would he be "twice my age" or "more than twice my age." All that fun, wasted. I called him to lament that I had missed such a golden opportunity, but that was NOT the same as seizing said opportunity for the year.

Not so for 30! I will do things like think back to the big things that happened in my 20s, talk about where my parents were at 30, talk about previous birthday milestones, and make lists like my goals of things to do before I'm 40, places I want to visit in my 30s... I told you, self-centered navel gazing for the world to see. If I was really good, I would do this in the form of a countdown of the 30 days before I'm 30, with a post a day... but I've got a full-time job and an infant, so I am not that ambitious.